Principal-Agent Triangle
Growing up as a kid baseball was my favorite sport. Up until I was 10 years old I would play in a league in the park right across the street from my house and my father was the coach of my team every year. After that I would play at larger parks and with different coaches, but my dad really enjoys watching me play and would show up to every game and be very involved. He would continue to coach me, give me tips, and offer to help out the head coaches in any way they needed. Once I started having coaches that were not my father, I would have a problem similar to the principal-agent triangle. My coaches would try and coach me one way, but if I was struggling my dad would give me tips and try to coach me in his own way, which usually differed.
A lot of times in these situations it would be impossible to please both my coach and my father as they would have conflicting tips. It would be impossible to take the advice of one and put it into practice without ignoring the other. A lot of times I would do what my coaches told me to do, as they had more direct authority in the situation, and it would sometimes upset my father. He would ask why I wasn't even trying his advice. My usual response would be that the coach told me to do something else. This would usually lead to him saying that he also knew what he was doing and that he felt I should at least try his methods and see how it works.
I would usually listen to my coach first, as I was more comfortable with my father and so I was more ready to ignore what he was saying (and these situations are definitely no the first time it would have happened) and I felt I would have more time to explain to him why I did not take his advice in a game. As I got older I think this situation definitely became normal for us, as instead of saying you should do this directly, he would say "I think...." or "It might help if..." and encourage me to try his ideas in the next coming games. Being close to one of the conflicting sides definitely made it easier to deal with the triangle problem, as I was able to talk to him reasonably about the situation and that I wasn't just being rude or ignorant, but that I was having conflicting tasks to perform.
In general, I think the triangle problem becomes more and more difficult to handle the more conflicting the different sides are in what they expect of you and also on how familiar you are with them. If the two sides are expecting different things, it is harder to please them both. Also, if there is a side you are more familiar with it would be easier to deal with that and explain the situation. However, I do not have any experience with this problem in an organization or business atmosphere so I do not know what it would be like.
A lot of times in these situations it would be impossible to please both my coach and my father as they would have conflicting tips. It would be impossible to take the advice of one and put it into practice without ignoring the other. A lot of times I would do what my coaches told me to do, as they had more direct authority in the situation, and it would sometimes upset my father. He would ask why I wasn't even trying his advice. My usual response would be that the coach told me to do something else. This would usually lead to him saying that he also knew what he was doing and that he felt I should at least try his methods and see how it works.
I would usually listen to my coach first, as I was more comfortable with my father and so I was more ready to ignore what he was saying (and these situations are definitely no the first time it would have happened) and I felt I would have more time to explain to him why I did not take his advice in a game. As I got older I think this situation definitely became normal for us, as instead of saying you should do this directly, he would say "I think...." or "It might help if..." and encourage me to try his ideas in the next coming games. Being close to one of the conflicting sides definitely made it easier to deal with the triangle problem, as I was able to talk to him reasonably about the situation and that I wasn't just being rude or ignorant, but that I was having conflicting tasks to perform.
In general, I think the triangle problem becomes more and more difficult to handle the more conflicting the different sides are in what they expect of you and also on how familiar you are with them. If the two sides are expecting different things, it is harder to please them both. Also, if there is a side you are more familiar with it would be easier to deal with that and explain the situation. However, I do not have any experience with this problem in an organization or business atmosphere so I do not know what it would be like.
I have to say that I really enjoyed reading your post and that it reminded me of when I played tennis. I would face a similar problem of whether to listen to my Dad or Coach. However, in my case the coaching I received from them would be a bit different. For example, my Dad would coach me mentally and provide an analysis of my game. Whilst, my coach would be more determined on the fundamental aspect of the game. However, in professional tennis this is a common problem. I believe only Rafael Nadal is still sticking to his uncle as his coach throughout his career.
ReplyDeleteThe situation you describe was clearly affected by the ages of the participants. Kids are expected to obey adults. That's they way things go. In a work-related triangle situation, the agent my be a subordinate to one or both of the principals, but as an adult should have more discretion on things and, in many cases, have enough autonomy to manage the situation and make everyone reasonably happy.
ReplyDeleteEarlier in the semester I believe I mentioned a book called Excellent Sheep. One of the tenets in that book is that college age kids need to break away from their parents and establish themselves as adult decision makers. It's not easy and it may not be clear when that should happen, but at some point the parent who doesn't let go risks losing the child for some time, just of this reason. Going away to college is actually useful or this reason. Finding a job in another city than where the parents live might also help with this.
My experience is that once the kid has found independence and the parents come to respect the kid as an adult, then separation is no longer necessary. But until that time, it is useful. This is really not about the triangle as it pertains to work. Yet it is interesting in its own right.
The book sounds interesting. College is definitely what has been the cause of most of the separation I have from my parents. However, I still rely on them a lot and they definitely have a lot of influence over some decisions I make, even if I do not want them to be involved. However, because I rely on them for many things I may be influenced by them still.
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